The ability to protect oneself from physical and emotional harm is a basic talent that everyone should have. Teaching self-defense is among the most neglected part of Pakistani society despite everyday increase in crimes against children and ramping bullying in schools. When parents hear self-defense, they immediately think of children hitting or striking others with karate techniques, violence and aggression. However, self-defense is much more than that. It is about making your kids smart about their movements, self-awareness, assertiveness and most of all, being confident about themselves.
Moreover, the discipline that self-defense strategies establish in children goes beyond the physical fitness and is reflected in their daily life behavior as well. The spirit developed during learning self-defense which echoes that “I am going to survive here, not down the road”, helps in building their self-esteem which in turn enhances their social-emotional development. Here are the five main self-defense strategies that every child should learn.
1. Shape them for a Confident Body Language
The first step for teaching self-defense, even before physical fitness, is to teach children to carry themselves with confidence. Maintain a good posture from start as it suggests confidence and strong personality even as a kid. Ensure that your child makes eye contact with others in public whether school, park or markets. Kids with slouchy postures, shy personalities with top-up of eye contact avoidance leads to making them easy targets for bullies as well as strangers with bad intents.
Using strong and stable voice asserts self-reliance of a child and can keep problems at bay. Try to make your children talk assertively and using strong voice at home so they can have the confidence to talk in a similar manner at school or in public.
2. Tell them how to Attract Attention when needed
Quiet and submissive behavior is never acceptable under threatening situations whether with bullies or menacing strangers. Parents need to assure their kids that it is okay to be loud, scream, or yell if they feel threatened. The more loudly kids talk to person bullying or pushing them or threatening them, the less intimidated they seem to the other person. When talking loudly doesn’t work, kids need to understand that they need to pull the crowd towards them to create a secure circle around them. It is not easy for every kid to stand up for themselves or keep their nerves in control when any hazardous situation comes to them and that’s where self-defense training comes in. Practicing for such situations can take most of their hesitation or fear away when real life situation arises.
3. Let them learn physical self-defense techniques
This is where the most well-known technique of physical strength comes in. Despite what some parents think of, increasing physical strength and preparedness for fights does not mean aggression will become part of your child’s personality. On the other hand, physical training for self-defense actually allows children to have more control over their anger. Most of the physical training for self-defense in Pakistan and anywhere else including Martial Arts and boxing involves first rule of ‘Flight over Fight’. Conflict avoidance is a major part of self-defense training to kids and adults with stern voice and body control which leads to an assertive personality and can put attacker on back foot. However, in scenarios where there is a physical threat, kids are trained to bite, punch, push, and escape or attack if needed. In this era of ‘ME TOO’, parents can learn a lot from victims of bullying and child harassment, how important it is to be physically able to save oneself from harm.
4. Situational Awareness – Trusting own Guts
It is not enough to practice physically when there are chances that sudden attacks can happen too. In such cases, children can be caught by surprise which can affect their reaction time and give advantage to attackers. Teach children to be more vigilant about their surroundings and routine pathways. Children should understand that when they are alone on streets, they are not supposed to get engross in their smart phones or other screen distractions. Moreover, make them understand the concept of situational awareness where they can scan a wide range around them and notice public moving in that area. They should trust their guts in this regard and watch for blind spots behind them. Tell them to always think of exits when on streets and scenarios where they can be cornered.
5. Practice situational safety strategies with your child
This is something that all parents should do whether kids are taking self-defense classes or not. Sit with your children and discuss various scenarios where they can be in danger and then plan exits from those scenarios. For instance, when it comes to strangers, talk to various scenarios like what if a child gets lost in super market or mall, or in open parks. What should be first line of action, even if there is no imminent potential threat around them? Make them memorize all relevant phone contacts and addresses that they can contact in case of getting lost or running away from some bully or wicked stranger.
Make them understand how they should be talking to strangers and how they need to respond if someone probes them regarding their contact details or ask them if they are alone. You can rehearse with your children how they can bluff about being with an elder even if they are lost or how they can compose themselves on the outlook to avoid looking lost or weak. You can also teach them how to take a defensive position against a bully in school by rehearsing different answers to usual bullying statements.
